plays by Andrew Cullen

Scouse - A Comedy of Terrors

"One of Britain's most exciting playwrights......a sensational success with audiences and critics alike, with all performances sold out."


" is shockingly and side-splittingly funny." - Lyn Gardner, The Guardian

The Liverpool People's Party calls for Liverpool to be recognised
as an independent republic by the UN, the EU, NATO and UEFA.

The UK government objects and sends in the army...

SCOUSE (A COMEDY OF TERRORS) was first performed at the Everyman Theatre, Liverpool with the following cast:

TOM                                                     Paul Broughton
KATH                                                    Kate Fitzgerald
CLIVE/NEIL/PHIL/FEARGUS                 Andrew Schofield
MACKA/MR DIXON/D.I.DODD           James McMartin
SUSAN                                                 Joy Blakeman
BEN/MIKE/DIXON                               Martin O'Brien
TINA                                                    Gaynor Spearrit
DARREN/WAYNE/CRAIG                   Vince Pellegrino
LISA/JANE                                           Rachel Smith

The other parts were shared among the cast.
Director                                              Peter Rowe
Set designer                                      Ashley Shairp

The cast for the 2016 revival by Lantern Theatre Liverpool was:


TOM                          Peter Washington

KATH                         Jackie Jones

SUSAN                       Katie King

BEN                           James Ledsham

CLIVE                        Curtis Watt

MACKA                     Reg Edwards

BIG FRANK               James McMartin

LISA                           Nicola Ferguson

TRACEY                     Louise Garcia

DARREN                    Michael Hawkins 



"A terrifying comedy of a plausible future...well-crafted, emotional and at times shocking." - LIVERPOOL ECHO


"The real strength of the writing tells, as the wit becomes sharper and darker." - THE STAGE


"A hilarious yet dark comedy...a moving and thought-provoking piece of theatre." - THE STATE OF THE ARTS


"Lively and topical, funny and chilling." - NORTH WEST END


"This very entertaining (and occasionally shocking) production of Andrew Cullen's fine comedy...still has a lot to offer." - THE MERSEYSIDER MAGAZINE


"It's absolutely fantastic." - SCOUSE BIRD PROBLEMS


"An impressive contemporary revival." - Tate James, REVIEWING THE SITUATIONS


"The beauty of this particular piece is its relevance to the world we live in today." - THE REVIEWS HUB

Pig's Ear

"Packed with splendid dialogue and characters..."


" of the most significant writers of the next generation."

Ten members of a family gather for a party on election night in 1979 and again in 1983, 1987 and 1992.


Pig’s Ear was first performed at the Liverpool Playhouse Studio with the following cast:

THE QUEEN             Val Lilley

OLD GIT                  James Tomlinson

BASTARD                 Ian Blower

STUPID COW         Joanna Bacon

DICKHEAD             James McMartin

DOGSBODY           Ayse Owens

WANKER                Alex Hardy

BITCH                     Susannah Hitching

SLAG                      Tara Moran

PIG                         Conor Ryan


Directed by Ramin Gray

Set designed by Hannah Mayall

Costumes designed by Ashley Shairp

Lighting designed by Paul Russell

Pig’s Ear was written with the support of the Thames TV Theatre Writers’ Scheme financed by the Peggy Ramsay Foundation.

Self Catering (A Short History of the World)

"...the best advertisement for live theatre I've come across in years."

The survivors of a plane crash, finding themselves stranded on a desert island, rename themselves after their favourite film stars.


Self Catering (A Short History of the World) was commissioned by Altered States Theatre Company with Arts Council support. The play was first performed at the Liverpool Playhouse Studio with the following cast:

BETTE DAVIS                      Ayse Owens

CLINT EASTWOOD            Andrew Schofield

HENRY FONDA                  Paul Broughton

MARILYN MONROE           Rosie Rowell

MERYL STREEP                 Jane Hogarth


Directed by Kate Rowland

Designed by Hannah Mayall

Music by Martin Dempsey

Lighting by Johanna Town


"Powerful, extremely funny and clever . . . heralding the arrival of a significant new writer in British theatre."

When a train breaks down in the middle of a forest, the driver
goes for help and doesn't come back...


North won the Liverpool Playhouse Young Writers Award.

North premiered at the Playhouse Studio with the following cast:

ANN                    Charlotte Medcalf
DAD                    Jon Huyton
MUM                  Julie Bennett
MIKE                    Mark Roper
JOHN                  Jon Sotherton
ALICE                  Louise Duprey
LEN                      Edward York
STEVE                  Mark Moraghan

Directed by Kate Rowland.
Designed by Hannah Mayall

Doctor Duncan

A short monologue about the life of public health pioneer Dr Duncan who was the UK's first Medical Officer of Health, appointed in the 1840s when the average age of death in the poorer districts of Liverpool was 19 and the British army rejected 75% of Liverpool men on health grounds, declaring that they were "unfit to be shot at".


The monologue was commissioned by the Everyman Theatre in Liverpool. The text has been published as part of a special edition of The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins.



for theatre and film:

Katie Haines
The Agency (London) Ltd
24 Pottery Lane
Holland Park
W11 4LZ



for children's books:

Hilary Delamere
The Agency (London) Ltd
24 Pottery Lane
Holland Park
W11 4LZ



for books:

Peter Buckman
The Ampersand Agency
Ryman's Cottages
Little Tew


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© Andrew Cullen